A little over ten years ago a book came out entitled “Calling In The One”, in which the central premise was to follow the rules of the laws of attraction to bring forth the love that you seek. The seven- week program was guaranteed to help you overcome all of the obstacles to finding the love of your life. At the time it came out I knew several women who swore by the book. In fact one of them credits it with helping her find her husband. The interesting thing about this book is that like any self-help book it can only be as helpful as you want it to be. In other words its up to you to be introspective, follow the exercises and writing prompts to find out how to get unstuck. Only then will you attract the love you want, maybe. I would surmise that there’s more to it than that and here’s what the book gets right, you attract what you are. If you are unhappy, anxious, needy, you will attract those very things to you in a mate. Conversely if you radiate love, peace and joy, your light will shine and you’ll attract those qualities in a mate. The key to attracting the love you desire and to calling in the one is loving yourself.
To love ones self is to accept and appreciate each and every thing about you. You begin to embrace every imperfect thing about yourself and not feel guilty, ashamed or embarrassed for doing so. You admire the twang when you speak, the freckles on your face become beauty marks and the love handles that you just cant seem to get rid of become more insulation for the winter months. You don’t allow the opinion of others to penetrate the ego you have built up. Instead you laugh as the arrows bounce off of your shield. You accept every flaw, good and bad and take responsibility for each of them without blaming others.
Many of us have practiced criticism and negative self talk for so long that we don’t even recognize when a compliment is being given. It’s become so ingrained that it has crippled us.
Fortunately, we can break this self-deprecating behavior by being gentle and talking lovingly to ourselves. Start with being thankful for everything that you are. When we show gratitude love abounds. Look lovingly at yourself in the mirror. Write yourself notes appreciating and showing self-love. Meditate and imagine you are love. Each day practice loving yourself so that it becomes second nature.
When we love ourselves we will attract love back to us. As we operate from a place of love, we no longer look for love to complete us because we’re already complete by loving ourselves. The mate we attract compliments the love we have inside. And that’s how you know you’ve found the One.