One night I had a conversation with a friend who told me he was afraid to put himself out there because he’d been hurt so many times in the past.
Here was a man, a great guy with a lot to offer the right woman, who was feeling uncertain of himself.
So I asked him… what’s the best and worst thing that can happen if you open yourself up to another woman?
Do you know what he said?
I bet you could guess.
He said that the worst was that his heart would be broken again. The best was that he could live a passionate life with her.
We all want to focus on the latter. And here’s the thing… getting hurt is inevitable in any relationship. It doesn’t matter if it is friend or foe, family or business, you will get hurt.
And that’s where vulnerability comes in. If you want to put yourself in the position to take that risk, you must be vulnerable. Open. Available.
That can be scary! Vulnerability requires courage.
Not only do you need to be vulnerable yourself, you must look for a partner who is willing to go there with you. When you do have that energetic match, that willingness on both sides to be vulnerable, it creates great ground for beautiful things to grow.
So, how do we attract that kind of vulnerability into our relationships?
1 – Focus On It
We’ve all heard the phrase, “what you focus on grows”. Focus on the places in your life where you see vulnerability happening. The relationships where you see it blooming, even if they’re not your romantic relationships.
2 – Express Gratitude For It
When you have an inspiring and vulnerable connection, express your gratitude. Notice it. Thank God, the Universe, your angels for it. Thank anyone who will listen because you know that will invite more of it into your life.
3 – Choose It
You may have seen articles floating around on the internet about choosing your partner each day in your relationship. The same can be done with vulnerability. Choose to be vulnerable when you have the chance. Flex that muscle! The more you are it, the more it will be found in your life!
4 – Encourage It
Hopefully sooner rather than later, someone in your life will be vulnerable with YOU. Celebrate the courage of that person and recognize the gift that their vulnerability was for you. Even if it was something that might not have felt good to you in the moment. Remember, it’s not all sunshine and roses.
5 – Imagine It
Not every interaction you have in the world can be deep, meaningful, and filled with opportunities to be vulnerable. But that doesn’t mean you can’t daydream about it. Start to let yourself envision a world where people are more open and brave in their relationships. What would it look like if the checker at the supermarket shared something vulnerable with you?
Share in the comments… are you a magnet for vulnerability? Do you want to be? How are you welcoming vulnerability into your life or keeping it at bay?